The Enigmatic Logic of Chess Moms!
We have all had those moments where our parents who only wish the good for us tend to get on our nerves! There's always those infamous 'mom's logic' moments which no one but they will understand! It truly is undecipherable, and one cannot understand the point that is being made. Unfortunately, the law requires that one not question mom's motives, so here are some of those moments that we honestly cannot explain or get behind! Avathanshu Bhat, the ChessBase India Juniors editor-in-chief and the author of this article is just 14 years old, but the lad has some excellent observational and imaginative writing skills. From what he has witnessed in his own life, at chess tournaments, and using his imagination, he has penned down this article! Go on and check if you can spot yourself somewhere in there!
Disclaimer: This article is based on real-life incidents and should not be taken offensively. This is taken from observations over time and NOT on any specific individual or on his/her traits. Your discretion is advised.
1. The opponent logic:
Mom: How did you lose to your opponent?
Me: Well, he played well as he knew his lines and had prepared plenty for the game. He was also much higher rated than me so I knew it would be a tough game.
Mom: But that doesn't make sense! See, he lost to a lower rated in the 1st round, and you won against the same lower rated right? So that should mean he is weaker than you. Also, he played okay-ish in his last tournament and he is only gaining 36.5 points here because of a mistake his 2000 rated opponent made. Right?
Me: But mom, that isn't how it works...
Mom: No buts, just listen. He started playing 1 full year after you started, so that means you have more experience. How come he is higher rated then? Shouldn't you be higher rated than everyone in that age category, because you have played more?
This is just one of those instances which I really have nothing to say; what could I possibly say in argument to that? I mean, what she is saying isn't wrong when you look at it from her view...
2. The healthy logic:
Mom: Ok beta, so your round is starting in 30 mins, no?
Me: Yes ma, I'm playing against a ...
Mom: Yes, yes, all that is okay. But for now I'm just worrying, what will you eat now? Idli Sambar or Masala Dosa?
Me: I don't really want to stuff myself with too much before the rou-
Mom: Shhhh! How will you get your energy if you don't eat? Decide quickly and tell me.
Me: Ugh, fine. I guess Idli Sambar.
Mom: Okay! And also have some milk before leaving okay?
Me: Mom, I don't think I can ...
Mom: Yes, you can! Now be quiet and eat this quickly. Also I am giving you some chaas for you to drink, chocolate milk and some biscuits. Also your brain needs to be sharp, so I'm packing some Almonds, Raisins, Walnuts and Pista. You will eat all of this during the round and one kela when you reach the venue.
Me: Oh my god, I'm going to sleep over there! What am I going to do?
Again, classic example of moms, to prepare their kids for the game...sometimes with a little too much on their plate.
3. The superstition logic:
Mom: Okay fresh day, fresh mood, time for a new round in 1 hour, right?
Me: Yes mom...
Mom: I have a surprise for you! I brought something else from home!
Me: Really, what did you bring?
Mom: I brought this! [holding up a 5 year old shirt]
Me: Eww, what is this? This won't even fit me any more!
Mom: You don't remember this? This is your lucky t-shirt! Remember, you won against that 1700 when you wore this?
Me: No, when was this?
Mom: Arre, not too long ago, just in 2014 Delhi...
Me: Are you mad?! I will not wear this, I'm 14 now!
Mom: Okay, okay, now don't tell me if you lose the round and come because you didn't wear your lucky t-shirt.
Honestly, what difference does it make with the T-Shirt? It doesn't have some magical powers or something...or does it?
4. The assumption logic
Mom: Wait what? You lost the game? How?
Me: He had some nice combinations and plans. I missed...
Mom: But I thought you were winning?
Me: Um no, I was never winning.
Mom: But you were standing up so confidently and going to the washroom and all...
Me: I just got up to stretch, I wasn't winning...
Mom: And I saw your pawn, it was so ahead, why couldn't you make it a queen?
Me: ...because of the the two black rooks that stopped it?
Mom: Whatever, now you are making excuses to make me quiet.
5. Waiting-around-after-the-game logic
Me: Mama, I won the game!
Mom: Nice one! I knew you could do it! It was against higher rated, right?
Me: Yes, my player was quite strong. Whew, I'm tired after that long game, let's go home now.
Mom: Wait, should I stay to talk to the other moms? Look they are all waving to us!
Me: I'm really tired today ma, so can we go home instead?
Mom: Wait bachcha, let me tell the aunties that you won also, it was such a nice game!
Mom: So just wait for me okay, I might take a while,
Me: Oh no, I'm going to be here forever!
6. The Tournamental logic:
Mom: Well, you've done it again. How did you manage to lose a winning game like that?
Me: Sorry, I didn't manage my time well.
Mom: Really? Is that even an excuse? You've been playing for so many years and you make a rookie mistake like this? Honestly, I don't even know why I bother with this game sometimes, why should we bother going to tournaments if the results are the same?
[10 seconds later]
Mom: Okay, so I've found a tournament in Bangalore on 25th and you have holidays then, so shall I book the tickets? Also there's one in Chennai as well, so we can club the two, is that okay, honey?
Well, these were some of the funniest (and rather imaginative) moments that really infuriate me sometimes! No one will ever really understand the mom's logic, and it will for sure remain an enigma for everyone, except of course the moms! Jokes apart, they are only trying to help us out in the way they feel is the best. They are really like a guardian angel, trying to make sure that everything is just right and the mood is perfect to play the game, and honestly I respect that. Stay strong moms, stay awesome as you always are!
Hey! If you liked this article about chess moms, then you should definitely check our other article classifying the different types of chess players here. Spoilers: There are a lot!
About the author
Avathanshu Bhat is 14 years old and has been writing about chess for several years now. He has published innumerable articles on ChessBase India and his reports have been well received by the audience. He is the editor-in-chief of ChessBase India Juniors.